i used to dance in college. filipiniana thing, and today, i felt like a dance! twirl and swirl around the apartment, the only music that playing in my head. round and round, even my thoughts spiraled up and down like ribbons all over my body.
the strangest thing that could possibly happen just did to me. it was a chance moment, so fleeting i must've imagined it. i was in a taxi from the airport, on my way home. i remember staring dazedly at the windshield wipers beating back and forth tiredly. in that infamous traffic zone near shangri la and megamall, i saw her.
it was the all-familiar chaffeur-driven car of AM, the car he reserves for me when we go out and he has me fetched. i sat up with some amusement, craning my neck as our taxi passed the car. and there, seated stiffly in the back, i must've imagined it all you know, was she. that unmistakable patrician nose, the coiffed hairstyle, the regal bearing. sitting in my place!
the absurdity of my thoughts made me burst out into a quick, manic laugh. who was i to think that i was being usurped? parang baligtad!!! i didn't want to look anymore. it felt strange. i felt hot arrows of jealousy shoot through my heart. i resisted bringing the illogic of my thoughts and feelings further. i know that for every pang of anger and bitterness i feel, there are a thousand more with her. as my taxi made the right onto julia vargas, i saw AM's car sliding forward towards the greenhills flyover. i clung to the back of the seat in front of me.
i wanted to make my way through the maze of cars, knock on her window and just shout, "ako yon! ako yooonn!!!" but i held the urge in and hurriedly paid the taxi driver when he stopped in front of my building. there are times when you just want to bring everything to a head and see where and how you'll be shot into a new dimension.
oohhhlalala! just let me enjoy this moment further. back to the wild dance, mi amigos!
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