lie to me instead

i write this with some trepidation. i've sworn off the internet and it's because of you. that's all there is to it.

i dreamed a dream last night. i woke up close to noon today with the heaviest of rocks in my chest. oo, ikaw nga linalaman ng panaginip ko.

in my dream, you were having sex with that girl. in my room. i woke up to the sounds of your frenzied sounds. i was shocked to see you coupled and started to hit you hard with chairs and other large hard objects in the room. when you still would not stop, i started to trash the room, sweeping glasses and bottles off my dressers and shelves. the crashing did nothing.

the next scene had cyvil taking a shower in my bathroom post-sex. i stepped into the stall with her and looked her over from head to foot. i noticed that she had no boobs and had the body of a ten-year old. she looked at me with wide-eyed innocence and answered all my questions. she said that you and she had been meeting each other on the sly even while we were together. my heart had stopped beating already but i kept asking her calmly how why when where. she obliged with every question.

it felt so real. :'(

then she had to leave. i was about to drive her to UP but decided that she should at least suffer a bit commuting to UP instead of getting ferried there. then i thought about all the times you had met me in UP and knew that you had met her first.

it was the most horrible dream in my life. now i just want to throw up.